"To lose your way is to find it." When one of our trainers told us this Swahili proverb I thought it was one of the dumbest I'd ever heard, but all of a sudden, I kind of get it. That said, I have an announcement: I am leaving Peace Corps.
I have always been of the opinion that when you start something—make a commitment—you find a way to see it through. I knew coming into this that it would be hard, but I was committed to finding a way to get through it. Leaving early was not an option; it didn’t even register as a possibility. It was, as with most things in my life, all or nothing. My decision was that if I got on the plane to go to staging, I would be gone for two years.
Even in training, when I was starting to get an idea of what was coming, I conceded that I may consider leaving after I had fulfilled at least most of my obligation. I didn’t want to leave without making some sort of impact on my organization and community.
And then I just had a total mind shift after getting to site. I want to say that I have spent a lot of time and reflection ensuring that this is not just me running away because it’s hard. I was prepared for hard; that’s not what this is stemming from. I have a strong faith in God and try to live my life according to His will and follow His guiding. A lot of my decision comes from how I feel I’m being led in this regard. While this was not a mistake, it is not where I want to—or feel I should—spend the next two years. The time I’ve been here has been useful; it has allowed me to accomplish many of the goals I set for joining the Peace Corps and served its purpose. Now it’s time to go home. I refuse to spend any more time waking up and wanting to be somewhere else.
In the morning I am off to Nairobi to do all of the closing stuff PC requires. That should take a few days and then I'll be on a plane back to the US. I will fly back to NY and spend some time there with the fam, then head out to HI. Beyond that, I have no clue what I will do, well besides eat everything in sight. I need a job...
Miss you, love you, see you soon!